It's been four years since that day. And every Monday morning I kiss my husband goodbye. He may be alone in the desert. Or supervising a crew of ten. He may be straddling a bobcat and making trenches for waterways or helping a crew erect a massive steel barn. And, it's scary.
I pray each morning for his safety. I pray with thankfulness for the work and support for our family when lots of people don't have jobs. I pray for strength to cope with living apart from my husband who has been by my side for over twenty years. And, I realize it is harder than I thought it would be.
Are we courageous? Or is this absolute faith? Or are we simply accepting the situation that God has put in front of us. I don't have a clue, but I do know this: a sword is hard and very sharp. At any time, if I were walking its edge, I could fall left or right. Today, I might go left and feel courageous. Tomorrow,I might fall right and say, "God, I trust you." Or I may trip and land with feet on each side of the blade and accept my position. My husband says he does the same.
What's different about these choices today is my attitude. All three choices come from a positive frame of mind. In the past, before I had a relationship with God, our Father, I would be complaining and blaming. I would feel heavy and depressed and continue to be a victim in my own life.
Thank you God for saving me from myself.