When this failed miserably, I started to pray. “God I know you are correcting me about something very important, but I can’t see it. Teach me. Guide me. Show me what to do.”
The arguing got worse. She shut down. I pressed harder. She started talking back and smarting off. I kept praying.
Then, one morning after my prayers, I was sitting still. As clear as the tinkling of a wind chime, I heard a small voice down deep in my soul. “You are the adult.” I hit my knees and asked God to forgive me. I was wrong to push and punish her. I saw that I would do anything to get rid of the pain, including hurting her. I was ashamed. And, like every time I asked, I began to feel God’s presence and forgiveness. It poured over me like warm honey. I felt release, hope and peace.
It’s been months now and we haven’t had a cross word. This is what I learned; if I push fear on my daughter, she reacts by protecting herself. If I reach inside myself and gather the feelings I truly have for her, she doesn’t react at all. She feels safe and secure. Thank you God for helping me remember.